I struggle to look people in the eye: any tips?

I sometimes struggle with eye contact.. not sure why... it may be because of insecurity, but I'm pretty sure I just really struggle Any tips?I struggle to look people in the eye: any tips?
This is really very common. Do not over analyze it. Here's my tip. Look at the upper middle of their forehead. It is far enough away from their eyes that it will make you more comfortable and it is close enough to their eyes that they will not be able to tell that you are not looking in their eyes. It really works, try it.I struggle to look people in the eye: any tips?
Tips I heard of.





Look at neck. Lots of musculature there so one can read the person.





Look at person's tie. (I don't necessarily follow this tip, just mentioning it).





There's big variation.





-Narcissistic personality disorder people, office powerpaths, have peculiar eyes.





-When a person is thinking, they look away.





-Some very personable people face 90 degrees away, look straight ahead, and cheerily call out.





I'm interested to know where the question comes from.





Perhaps a lot of this is myth.


Perhaps someone one once asked ';how should I behave'; and someone offered the advice ';stare at the other person';. It's poor advice.








Recently a person was coaching me.


He told me to look calmly at the other person. It's easy for him to say. He's a very high grade in hapkido, and has even invented his own system, and would be confident of defending himself.
Oh yes - quite common. It depends upon who you're talking to. If it's a friend and you feel ok with them, go ahead and look them in the eye. But if it's just an acquaintance (but you still want to seem friendly) pick a spot right above their eye and look at that. That way you can avoid direct eye contact but that the same time appear as if you are making eye contact.





It's insecurity, as you say, but it's normal enough. In a few years it will go away.
I am a little surprise that people think they are supposed to make ';continuous'; eye contact. This is a myth. Sure if you are making a brief encounter and exchanging a 30 second catching up chat on a busy day would require sustained eye contact as anything else would mean the convo. should not have started as there are other, more urgent things on one's mind. Otherwise, the person would be considered insincere.


But if one is having a 30 minute convo. and one looks at the convo. partner straight in the eye ALL THE WHILE, that is really unnatural and unnecessary unless the two are making out, perhaps getting ready to jump into bed some time soon.


My advice to you is to be natural. Make a strong, sustainted eye contact at the initial stage, then as the conversation gets more winded, make occasional glances away in a non-consequential manner -- do it when you are talking, or when you or the other make a less serious comment. This occasional moving away, and coming back would signal that you are natural, and some issues are less urgent than others, but that you are sustaining a natural interest. Towards the end of the convo., once again make strong, sustainted eye contact to show that you value the person and the exchange of ideas.


Forcing oneself to lock into eye contact is creepy. It is totally insincere, and is eventuall tricking the other person that you are thoroughly interested when you might not be. Be natural, and concentrate on the issues; let your gaze honestly reflect your interest and you will not feel so intimidated. You will also not get bogged down by a boring discussion as your gaze would make it clear you are not interested in certain ideas or viewpoints. What's so wrong about that?
While they're talking to you or vice versa, look at their eyelid or eyebrown. Act as if you're looking for something in them and this will make you seem like you're looking at them in the eye and totally absorbed by what they're saying.
I agree with the poster above